Why I am no longer a Prides fan

This is the saddest thing I've ever written and I am crying so much, but my time of being a Lewis fan and a Prides fan has come to an end in the most hurtful way.

I wrote about some of this a couple of months ago, but as things got better due to the help of a kind person, I deleted that blog entry. Well since then, things have got so much worse, and it is now impossible for me to ever be a fan of them again.  I know writing this will achieve nothing.  But Prides have been talking about me to other fans, so this is my side of the story. I am in no way saying I am faultless, I have made terrible mistakes, it's all here.

It was in February at Prides' gig in Lincoln that this all began. After the gig, Prides' manager Ally McCrae told me the band would be coming to the merchandise stand to meet fans, as they usually do. But then the venue staff closed up the venue.

I was with another fan who also wanted to meet Prides. We decided to go to the back of the venue to see if we could meet them when they went to their van. When we got there one of the support bands was outside.  We said we wanted to meet Prides and they said why not go in via the back entrance of the venue because there was no security.

Now I know that just because there was noone to stop us, this does not mean I was entitled to go back into the venue.  What I did was an invasion of Prides privacy.  But at the time I didn't think about that, because I am a selfish thoughtless idiot.  Also, I was deluded enough to think that Prides wouldn't mind me coming back in because Ally had said I could meet them.

Me and the other fan walked back in, and Stewart, Callum and Ally were on stage packing up Lewis' drum kit. Callum said Lewis was too ill to see anyone, but then Lewis appeared and I went over to him and he was telling me how ill he was. Being the selfish person that I am, I asked if I could have a photo with him and he said yes, and I asked for a hug and he gave me one and then I left.

It was when I was back outside that I looked at twitter on my phone and I saw that earlier Lewis had tweeted me saying he was too ill to meet me but he'd see me next time.  I knew then that what I'd done was seriously bad.  I'd forced Lewis to see me when he was so poorly and he just wanted some privacy and space. Plus it looked like I'd delibertaly ignored his tweet to me, although this wasn't the case and I genuinely hadn't seen it.

I was absolutely devastated.  I tweeted an apology to Lewis but I knew it was too late.  I think in my heart I knew I had ruined everything forever.  And the last thing I ever wanted to do was upset Lewis, I care about him so much, I love him in a fan love way, I would never intentionally have done something to make him feel uncomfortable in any way.

The next day I DM'd Lewis to apologise again for what I'd done, but he didn't reply. He was tweeting a lot that day, so I knew he was ignoring me and didn't accept my apology and I was panicking so much.

He didn't reply to me all week and I felt so anxious that I'd seriously upset him so I sent him more DM's, which I know now must have been very irritating and the last thing he needed, but that's what I did.  I also DM'd other members of team Prides, which annoyed them all greatly (with the exception of one of them who has been so kind and understanding to me throughout all this.)

Stewart sent me a DM saying I keep messaging them till I get my own way.
I DM'd a lot because I was so anxious about upsetting Lewis and was trying to apologise.  I guess Stewart just thinks I'm a spoilt brat though.

In a last desperate attempt to beg for Lewis' forgiveness, I sent him a private apology which I hoped explained what had happened and gave some context as to why I behaved the way I did.  I shared some very personal stuff about my mental health.  Unfortunately, my private stuff was instantly shared with someone else who it was not intended for.

Lewis then did DM me to say that I was overthinking what had happened at Lincoln and that nobody was overly bothered. But that he was unfollowing me because of all my DM's.

He unfollowed me instantly, then DM'd me via Prides twitter to explain that he had only shared my private message with Ally, which I didn't mind at the time as I thought he was someone I could trust.
And that was the last twitter interaction I ever had with Lewis.

Many months ago he said I could DM him when I had any worries about Prides stuff.  I guess I took him too literally and this is what led to the situation I am in now. I wish he'd just said to me that my DM's were getting too much. Instead he just ignored me for days and never gave me a chance. Anyway, that is the least of my problems. As you will see from the rest of this blog, things got so much worse...

None of Prides would interact with me on twitter for a further 3 weeks after this and noone would tell me why.

One of my friends, 'Fern' (not her real name but she wants to remain annoymous) joined twitter to tweet Prides for me and try to help.  She @ tagged Ally McCrae in her tweets...

Ally, who had long since stopped replying to any of my messages, then DM'd Fern about me! I am horrified that the manager of my favourite band would talk to someone else about me like this.  Yes, Fern is a very dear friend of mine, but she had only joined twitter that week, she didn't have a profile photo of herself, she could have been ANYONE! Anyone could set up a twitter claiming to be someone's friend.  I am so shocked that Ally would act in what I feel was an unprofessional manner and send these messages about me.

I tweeted how upset I was about this, and it was then that Ally replied to an email of mine that he had previously ignored. He explained that because of my known anxiety problems, Prides had got professional advice on how to deal with me. The professional advisor suggested a cooling off period, which was why Prides all ignored me.

I have had mental health problems for 20 years now, and in that time I have received some unpleasant treatment, but nothing like this.  For my favourite band to treat me differently from other fans because of my mental illness, I still can't believe it! And to ignore someone with anxiety is such a cruel thing to do, it just makes that person's anxiety worse.

I replied to Ally's email but got no response.  Fortunately the whole conversation had been CC'd to the kind member of Prides team. He later phoned me and was so sympathetic, as he had previously been unaware of my mental health problems.  Because of him, Prides' twitter started interacting with me again, although Lewis never did on twitter.

I went to the Kiesza tour and Prides did speak to me in person there.  Stewart was his usual self.  Callum seemed to be going out of his way to be extra kind to me and including me in stuff. I don't know if he did it intentionally, but he made me very happy anyway.

I got really upset when I met Lewis on the first night of the tour.  He was pleasant, but so different from how he used to be, he seemed so much colder. But that's ok, I don't expect him to actually like me, why should he? He was still polite and let me have a photo and that is all I wanted.  I asked if he would ever follow me on twitter again and he said maybe one day but not for a very long time.  I had a bit of a cry and I asked if it would be ok if I still came to the rest of the tour or if it would make him uncomfortable and he said it would be fine.

The second night of the tour, he didn't come out to meet fans when Stewart and Callum did after Prides' set, and I thought he would avoid me for the rest of the tour.  But then he did come out after Kiesza's set, and I apologised to him for getting upset at him yesterday and he said it was ok.

The third night of the tour, Prides were in a hurry to leave but Lewis actually got out of the van to let me have a photo. The fourth day he smiled at me when he walked past and I thought things were getting back to how they used to be.

And on the fifth and final night Lewis gave me a hug and when he was talking to me he seemed relaxed and like he used to be.  I thought that because I'd not stepped out of line on the tour he could see how sorry I was and had forgiven me and everything would be like it used to be.

But he continued to ignore me on twitter. He favourited or replied to any other fan who tweeted him, but not me.  It hurt so much, but I could only assume it was not Lewis' decision to do this and maybe the professional adviser was still involved.

The next thing that happened was the Prides DJ party.  It cost me £1700 plus VAT, making a total of £2100 to hire Prides to DJ at my friend's party.  The contract said I had to provide certain professional DJ equipment, which cost me £600 to hire.  The contract didn't say I was getting all 3 members of Prides, it just talked about them as Prides.  It did however talk about things in multiples of 3's, like I had to provide 3 clean towels, so I just assumed I'd get all 3 band members.  I really should have checked with the agency though. it's the most expensive mistake I ever made.

I am surprised though, that when Prides found out Lewis wouldn't attend, that they didn't tell me.  It was because he was ill and I had to find out by a tweet which was not even a personal tweet for me. The first I knew was when Stewart tweeted via the Prides band twitter that he and Callum were DJ'ing that night. Stewart and Callum know that Lewis is my favourite, they knew the booking was made through me.  I can't believe they didn't even tell me themselves!

So I DM'd the Prides twitter and begged would it not be possible for Lewis to come.  I got a DM from Stewart saying isn't this Tracey's party (which it was but I'd paid for it) and that he wouldn't expect to be forced to do something when he was ill.

I wasn't trying to force anyone to do anything, my DM was the desperate words of someone who realised she'd just wasted £2700! I'm not a famous musician, I am a normal woman with no job, this was a big chunk of my life savings! Yes it was stupid of me to spend this amount of money, yes it was foolish of me not to check with the agency that Lewis was coming. Yes a fool and their money are easily parted, I know how stupid I've been, trust me I think about it every day! But I first thought to do this party thing when none of Prides would talk to me in February and I thought it might be my only chance to try to make things right with them.

Although I say the money was wasted, it did cause happiness to my best friend whose party it was and the other Prides fans who were there. So I am happy about that. But in all honesty, I wouldn't have done it if I'd known Lewis wouldn't be there.  I don't think many people would spend such a huge amount of money if they weren't going to get something out of it themselves.  Well, maybe they would, and if so they are much nicer people than me!

And it does hurt that Prides are so lovely to everyone else who was at that party, except me. I spent all that money and everyone benefitted except myself.  But I have only myself to blame for putting myself in that stupid situation because I am a complete idiot. Stewart wasn't even going to thank me when he made his speech at the end of the night, it was only because someone else whispered in his ear that he did. You can see that in the video on my post about the party.

I am glad that Prides are nice to my friends still, I want them to be happy.  But how have I ended up as the evil bitch when I did something so nice for everyone?  Even though I was selfishly motivated, it was still the best party of my friend's life and the other Prides fans who were there.  Prides got paid, Lewis even got paid for not being there.  And I was glad he got paid, I wanted him to have my money to try to say sorry to him for the Lincoln incident and my DM's.  I know it's a tiny amount to someone like him though.

At the party, we had to provide a security guard, it was one of Prides' demands.  A friend's dad very kindly was our security, even though he didn't get paid and gave up his Saturday night to do this.  He says he asked Stewart what he needed him to do and Stewart said 'Just keep my fans off me'. There were only about 10 of us there!

I'd bought Easter eggs for all of Prides.  When I tweeted Lewis to see if he got the egg, he ignored me. I tweeted him get well soon, he ignored me while favouriting my friend who tweeted him the same at the same time.  I knew then that he had a major issue with me but I didn't know what. And as usual noone in Prides would tell me.  Although my kind friend did phone me because he actually cares.

So time passed, and then it was time to see Prides at the Young Scot Awards in Edinburgh.  I met Lewis at the red carpet. He smiled at everyone else, but not me, but he let me have 2 photos with him and I am grateful for that.

Stewart walked past me on the red carpet and didn't acknowledge me. Callum said hi Greer even though I was talking to Lewis when he walked past. That was nice of him.

I went over to Prides again and asked Lewis if I could have another photo. There was a nice lady from the Daily Record who was going to interview them. I'd met her earlier and she said to Prides 'it's your superfan' and then Stewart was all smiley and nice to me.  I got another photo with Lewis but it didn't turn out, but that wasn't his fault, it was nice of him to let me have 3 photos with him, they were just all taken into the sun.

At the awards, Prides were the first act to perform. Lewis came on stage before the others and I was screaming so loud.  I was sitting with my friends in the upper balcony and noone else around us was showing any interest in Prides, but we were cheering for them. When Edith Bowman interviewed them afterwards she said about the screaming before they even started playing. That was me for Lewis!

After the awards, all the celebrities came out by the front door to meet fans.  Prides didn't appear so me and my friends went to near the side door where their van was parked. I'd gone by the side of their van to see if it actually was their van, and then 2 of my friends were shouting at me so I went back to them.  They said they'd just seen Lewis, he'd looked at them and then ran away.  I thought this seemed unlikely and he'd probably just forgotten something and gone back inside, but the same thing happened to me on Saturday.

Anyway, then we saw Scott, Prides tour manager. I asked him if Prides were still inside and he said yes but that they would leave by the front door because they were going to an afterparty. So we went and waited by the front door.  Meanwhile, Prides left by the side door.

I wasn't actually upset at the time, as I'd already met Lewis that day. Although I would have loved to see him again and hopefully get a better photo with him! But my friends were upset as they'd all travelled to the awards for Prides and felt like they'd avoided them.

Then we saw Ally McCrae. He gave me a big hug and asked if I was well.  I asked him why Lewis still ignores me on twitter.  He said he didn't know.  I asked if it was still to do with the professional adviser and he said no.  He said I needed to give Lewis more time.  I said it had been 2 and a half months now and I didn't know why Lewis had a problem with me as noone would tell me.  He just said that Lewis is a 'tricky person' and that I need to give him time.

Then me and my friends walked into an afterparty and spent the evening with the other celebrities who were all lovely to us and I had a great time!

One of my friends was in tears because of Prides though, and later in our hotel room the others said how unhappy they were about Prides avoiding us. So me being the idiot that I am tweeted Prides saying I was in a room with 3 other Prides fans who were very upset.

The next day, Callum DM'd 2 other Prides fans about my tweets.  He DM'd my best friend and one of my friends who was still in the hotel with me.  I am not happy that he spoke to other Prides fans about me and I think it was very unfair of him to get my friends involved.  It put them in a horrible position, and maybe Callum underestimated friend loyalty.  They both told me about his DM's.  The language used in one was not pleasant.

I tweeted about this which clearly angered Prides greatly.  Prides twitter blocked me long enough for me to no longer be following them and then unblocked me (they have since blocked me again). Lewis blocked me and has never unblocked me.  I hadn't tweeted him anything negative. The last thing I tweeted him was about how amazing he was at the awards.

I didn't find out that Lewis had blocked me till that evening when I was in a hotel in Leeds.  I thought it was the lowest moment of my life, but I wasn't even prepared for what happened next...

So the next day was Live At Leeds festival where I was seeing Prides. When I got to the venue where Prides were I saw Stewart.  I asked him why Lewis had blocked me on twitter. He said he didn't know.  I asked if they didn't speak to each other about these things and he said no and he didn't control what Lewis did on twitter.  I said doesn't anyone take responsibility for what happens in this band. He asked what I meant by 'take responsibility'. I explained that noone will tell me what Lewis' problem with me is and I'd already tried to ask their manager Ally.  Then Stewart laughed, like when someone does an unamused sarcastic laugh. I said don't laugh at me when I'm upset and he looked so angry and said I'd have to speak to Lewis. Then he said he needed to know where the toilet was, so I directed him and he walked off.

It was very uncomfortable watching Prides perform. Stewart did not seem his usual happy self on stage at all, and he and Callum never made eye contact with me.  Lewis did a couple of times and I thought maybe this was a good sign.  I tried not to cry, but then I did a bit during Higher Love and I don't even know why because it's not one of my favourite songs.

Then I cheered up a bit because Prides' music makes me so happy and I found myself singing along! But then my friend I was with started crying.

After the gig me and my friend sat near the entrance to backstage to see if we could meet Prides.
After a while, Callum came out to talk to us. I apologised for angering him on twitter and he put his arm round me and said it was ok.  He sat with me and my friend and was kind. I asked him if he knew why Lewis had blocked me and he said he didn't know.  He said I'd have to talk to Lewis.  I asked if Lewis would even speak to me and he said he didn't know.  I asked if Lewis would let me have a photo with him.  He said he didn't know.  I knew then that this was a no.  I asked Callum why Lewis was so angry with me.  He said he didn't know, but he thought he felt a lot of negativity from me.

I said my only negativity was because of Lewis ignoring me on twitter while interacting with all other fans, after all my support for him and I was his biggest fan.  I asked Callum if it was because of the professional advice they'd been given, and he said he knew nothing about any professional advice.  I said Ally had told me they've got professional advice about me.  He asked if Ally had really said this.  I explained I had it in writing in an email he sent me. I asked if it was because of the Lincoln incident and Callum said that it really wasn't a big deal and noone was angry about it.

I asked Callum if I'd freaked Lewis out by being such an obsessive fan.  A family member of mine is married to someone who used to be in a band, and he said that if he'd had a fan like me he would've left the band because it would have been too much pressure for him.  I told Callum about this and asked if this was how Lewis felt, and he said not at all.

I got very upset while I was talking to Callum, I was crying so much I couldn't speak or breathe.  He said he'd let me compose myself and then he'd come back.  He never did though.  I don't blame him, it wasn't his problem to deal with and at least he did talk to me and treat me like a human being.

Shortly after that, Lewis came out from backstage.  He was surrounded by fans who Prides had invited backstage.  He walked up the stairs and I followed and said Lewis.  I thought he didn't hear me.  I said Lewis again and I realised he was ignoring me.  Then a Prides fan, one of my friends, held me back and said leave him alone Greer. I said get off me and she pushed me back. Now I guess Lewis had asked the Prides fans to surround him so I couldn't get near him.  However I doubt very much that he had asked anyone to push me.  If it was anyone's place to manhandle me, it should have been one of the venue's security guards, or Prides' tour manager.  I somehow doubt though that a man would have pushed me in this manner, unless I had been causing any trouble, which I wasn't.  I was just saying Lewis' name.  He chose to ignore me, fair enough, that is his decision.  This fan who pushed me... she had accepted a Prides ticket from me in March which I gave her for free because I thought she was my friend.  I have checked and according to the law what she did was assault.  I just hope that noone from Prides asked her to do this, I really don't think they did though.

Anyway, I went back to my friend and although I was very upset at Lewis refusing to even acknowledge I was there, I wasn't too bad.  I cried a bit, but  because my friend was also upset, I managed to keep it together as I needed to look after her too.

But then I suddenly had this feeling of complete panic and I didn't think I could cope . I thought about taking myself to hospital but I was scared they would section me, but I was desperate for some extra medication to help me cope.  I decided to phone the Samaritans for advice, but obviously I could not hear to make a phone call in the venue.

So I went outside, which I felt awkward about because the Prides van was parked by the only way out of the venue.  As I left the venue Lewis was there with a woman. They saw me and ran off.  The woman was running behind Lewis and pushing him along and they were laughing and ran into a bar or somewhere.

I felt so hurt. I genuinely hadn't come out to try to see Lewis. I didn't even know he was still out there.  I went across the road and phoned the Samaritans.  The only advice they could give me was to phone the NHS helpline, which I did, but they said they needed to do a full assessment on me, and I was scared I was going to get sectioned so I went back into the venue and then me and my friend went back to the hotel.

It was the most humiliating and upsetting night of my life.  Seeing Lewis running away from me laughing, like I was a horrible freak to be avoided. After all my months of support for him. And it was even worse with the other Prides fans watching on as it all happened.

And that was that.  Lewis has still blocked me.  Prides twitter have blocked me again. Bizarrely even their sound guy and tour manager have blocked me.  I have literally never tweeted their tour manager and I think I tweeted their sound man once, about a funny picture he drew of Prides.

So that is the sad end to my time as a Prides fan.  I put my heart and soul and a lot of time and money into supporting them, and yet they hate me.  The only thing I know I did wrong was when I met them at Lincoln and I have repeatedly been told that noone is bothered about it.  So I just don't know why they are so angry at me. I would apologise if I knew what I'd done that is so wrong!

It hurts so much that Lewis who I adore hates me so much.

I am also upset that Prides were happy to accept my £2100 payment when they hate me so much.  Surely it is a bit unethical to accept such a huge payment from a fan whose mental health they were so concerned about, according to Ally. There was no breatch of contract though, I'll never get my money back, and the money isn't the issue here anyway.

I would've given or done anything for Lewis to forgive me for whatever he's so angry about, but I know that will never happen now.  I could never hate him though, I tried to feel angry with him, but I couldn't.  He's just too amazing and I don't think he's a bad person.  I'm sure he has valid reasons for why he has treated me like this, but I'll never understand as noone will tell me and they say I need to speak to him but he refuses to speak to me!

I know I'll get a lot of hate for writing this blog.  But a lot of things have been said about me.  As I know Prides have discussed me with other fans (who happened to be my friends so I found out about it), I can only imagine what they could have said about me to other fans who don't like me! As Ally McCrae DM'd my friend on twitter about me, I wonder who else he might have spoken to.

There's not much else I can say.  Thank you to anyone who has read my blog.  I doubt I'll be writing any more posts now.  I hope you enjoyed my happier blog entries.  I am so sad it has ended like this.  I thought I was a Prides fan for life.  I will always love their music and think Lewis is an amazing drummer, but I can't support a band who have been so mean to me.  They don't want my support anyway.

Goodbye.
Greer.

London, March 2015

The 34th time I met Lewis was at the O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire in London on Tuesday 24th March 2015.

This was the fifth date of Prides UK tour supporting Kiesza.

I got to the venue at just after 1pm to queue. I thought I was going to have a long lonely wait by myself, but soon afterwards a fan of Kiesza arrived and I spent the afternoon talking to him.  He felt sorry for me because I was so cold (and inadequately dressed because I'm an idiot) and he offered me his coat. I wore it all afternoon and it made such a difference. It was really kind of him. Thank you Andy, if you ever read this.

While we were queuing, something really exciting happened! Ljuba was walking past and she came over to say hi to me and Andy! She knew him from other times he'd seen Kiesza and she actually remembered me from Glasgow! I couldn't believe it! I got a photo with her and she stayed outside to talk to us for ages.

She is such a lovely friendly person and so beautiful! I told her I'd been to the whole tour and that I was a really big fan of Prides and I asked if she'd spent much time with them yet. But she said because of their busy schedule and sound check times they kept missing each other. I told her how much I like Lewis and she said she liked listening to him drumming because he hits the drums so hard and is so loud.  She said she was going to speak to him today.  I asked if it would be possible for me to have a photo with her and Lewis, and she said she'd ask him! I was so happy!

A while later Prides arrived. They got out of a car and I said hi Lewis and he said hi Greer and gave me a wave! He really is the kindest loveliest person ever, it's moments like that which make my life!

Although I was queuing for such a long time, it was fun! I made friends with other fans and I met some people who knew people I knew and they were lovely.  There were several fans who travel round the country to meet their favourites, like I do, which was really nice. Also, my lovely friends from Czech were there too, I was so happy to see them again! So the time actually passed really quickly.

Tracey Faye had travelled all the way from Glasgow that day. She joined me in the queue just after 6pm. I was so happy to be reunited with her again!

We got to the front centre barrier inside the venue and we were so excited!

Tonight there was an extra support act, Chloe Black. I had never heard any of Chloe's music before and I didn't know what to expect. She was absolutely amazing! She has a very beautiful voice and her songs are so lovely. She is also quite possibly the most beautiful person I have ever seen.  She has the most stunning figure ever and the most amazing hair and beautiful eyes. She is a goddess!

After she played she came to the front barrier to talk to fans. I got a photo with her and she was so lovely.

Then it was nearly time for Prides, so me and Tracey put our glow sticks on and were feeling very excited!

Prides were absolutely awesome and it was one of my favourite times of seeing them! Lewis looked even more handsome than ever and was doing the most gorgeous drumface and his arm moves and I love him so much! He really is a god!

It was really nice during the gig when Stewart saw Tracey and he smiled at her. That made her night!

After they'd played, me and Tracey headed to the back of the venue, where we met Mel, who I knew from online! She is so lovely and it was so wonderful to meet her in person at last!

Mel writes a lovely blog, please check it out here: https://melsjukebox.wordpress.com/

I really enjoyed watching Kiesza again. Although we were at the back of the venue, I found there was a brilliant view from the bar, so I got to see lovely Ljuba dancing which made me very happy! She really is the most amazing dancer I have ever seen! And even when I couldn't see so well, I was just enjoying myself dancing in the corner of the venue! By now I had got to know Kiesza's songs and I really liked them, and there was such a happy atmosphere!

After Kiesza had finished, Prides came to the merchandise stand.  Lewis gave me a hug and it was the happiest moment of the whole tour for me!! It made my life!! I asked him if he'd met Ljuba and he said yes and that she'd told him I wanted a photo and he said he'd make sure we got one tomorrow. (Unfortunately however the Nottingham gig got cancelled so I never got the photo, but it doesn't matter cos I'm just so happy that they both had agreed to it!)

I did get a lovely photo with Lewis, which is one of my favourites from the tour.

Tracey spent a lot of time talking to Stewart and he gave her a hug and 2 kisses on the cheek, which made her very happy!

I got a great photo of Tracey and Stewart posing!

Ally was there and he gave me a hug and high five, which made me so happy! He is so lovely and it was really nice to see him again!

I got a photo with one of my lovely friends Zdeňka, from the Czech Republic!

Then me, Tracey and Mel got a funny photo with Lewis! After we'd had it taken he said that was a lovely one!

Then I saw Chloe Black had come out to meet fans again, so I got a photo with her and some of my friends from the queue, Ash, Natalie, and Becky.

Then Chloe attempted to belly bump Lewis! But neither of them have beer bellies so it looked a bit weird, but that doesn't matter because they are the 2 most beautiful people in the whole world!

I got a lovely photo with Lewis and Chloe, which made my life! They are both so gorgeous and lovely and this is one of my favourite photos ever! I felt like I'd had my photo taken with a real life god and goddess!!

Then it was time for us to leave the venue, and Tracey sang Prides songs all the way back to our hotel! I think this was my favourite night ever of seeing Prides, it was so much fun!

Lincoln, February 2015

The 29th time I met Lewis was at the Engine Shed in Lincoln on Monday 16th February 2015.

Before the gig I was having some drinks in the bar next door to the venue and I saw Ally in there, it was nice to say hello.

Because the bar and the venue were all in one building, in the upstairs corridor you could hear Prides soundcheck. So I went and sat out there and happily sang along to myself.

The gig itself was lovely. Prides' set was slightly shorter than the tour set, but I think it was only one song they didn't play. I was worried they wouldn't do the mixtape, but they did, and it was so beautiful as always. Lewis looked particularly gorgeous and was wearing a really nice vest. His drumming was so perfect. I later found out that he was ill that evening, but you wouldn't have known it seeing him on stage, he was absolutely brilliant.

I met Prides briefly after the gig. Stewart gave me a hug and Callum was very kind.

Lewis was ill, which I hadn't realised. He very kindly let me have a photo with him and gave me a hug.

London, February 2015

The 26th time I met Lewis was at Heaven in London on Thursday 12th February 2015.

This was the fifth date of Prides headline UK tour February 2015.

I got to the venue earlier than usual at 3.30pm. I was just going to have a quick look and find a bar to have a few drinks, but there were 2 girls already queuing outside the venue. So I thought I'd better start queuing too in case it got really busy.

These girls were such big fans of Prides that they'd been queuing since 11.30 that morning! I really admired their dedication. The longest I ever queued for Prides was 5 hours! I felt sorry for them though, they were so cold. I got absolutely freezing but I wasn't there for nearly as long as them.

Later I met up with my friends, and they were all wrapping me up in items of their clothing because I was so cold. It was so sweet of them. And they had brought glow sticks again!

Inside the venue I only just managed to get a front row place, as I got a bit confused on the way in, due to being on the guest list. But the fans I'd met in the queue kindly let me squeeze in next to them. The stage was very high up with a huge barrier.

We'd met Ally in the queue for the gig and he'd told us there would be lots of surprises and even more lighting tonight! The lighting was even more amazing than ever, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen!

The highlight of the gig was when Lauren Aquilina came on stage to perform 'Strong Enough' with Prides. I'd only ever seen her once before at a festival last year, and it was so lovely to see her again. She is so beautiful and has the loveliest voice, and it was a really special moment to see and hear her and Stewart singing together.

There were more surprises, with confetti and balloons coming down from the ceiling.  I collected some confetti to keep forever, and one of my friends got a balloon for me, but we had to pop it when we went for drinks after the gig.

'Messiah' as always was a lovely end to the set. Unfortunately however the venue security staff were very strict and wouldn't allow a stage invasion, which was disappointing, but it wasn't Prides' fault. They had wanted it to happen.

Prides spent a long time meeting fans after the gig. I met Callum and he said Lewis was on his way.  I thought it was nice of him to tell me that. I had a really lovely chat with Callum, and I was talking to him about the first time I ever saw them at Lainfest. I said it was where I'd fallen in love with Lewis, and he said it had been the start of the 'romance'.  I like Callum, he's very funny!

When I was waiting to meet Lewis, I met Ashlea who is Prides' publicist. She is a very lovely lady and was so kind and friendly.

Ashlea introduced me to someone who said he was Lewis' biggest fan, but when he saw my t-shirt and heard about how many times I'd seen Lewis, he said I was the bigger fan. Then someone said to Lewis that his biggest fan was there, and he said I know and said hi Greer and gave me a hug and I could have died of happiness! I don't claim to be Lewis' biggest fan, I don't think you can measure how big a fan is by who sees him the most, I am lucky I am able to travel all over to see Prides, and I know not everyone can do that. But it is a big honour that he thinks I'm his biggest fan. Well he did then, I'm not so sure he still does. But I'm grateful he did once.

So I was talking to Lewis and then Ashlea was saying when is one of you going to get a tattoo of the other one. Well, I had wanted Lewis to sign my arm 6 months ago so I could get it tattooed, but he had said no because he didn't want to be responsible for me getting something for life. I asked Lewis again if he'd sign my arm, and he said no, but then he seemed to be thinking about it. Ashlea said maybe I should sleep on it. I said I'd been thinking about it for 6 months and I still really wanted a tattoo, and Lewis said it had been going on for a year (I guess that's what it felt like to him!!) So then Ashlea asked everyone standing nearby to vote if Lewis should sign my arm for me to get a tattoo, and most people voted yes!

So then my dream came true. Lewis signed my arm. He said he'd make it a good signature as it was going to be on me for life. And it was the most perfect signature ever. I can't even tell you how happy this made me!

I didn't get a photo while Lewis actually signed my arm, so then we did a reconstruction so I had a photo to remember the happy event.

And I got another really lovely photo with him.

I also got a group photo with Lewis and my friends, Simon, Gavin, and Mike, who I first met at Bingley last year and also at the Barfly.  They are big fans of Prides and lovely people who always look after me when I see them.

Then I had a quick chat with Stewart but security told me I had to leave the venue. Stewart kindly said I was with him and let me have a photo.

It was such an amazing night! I got to see my Messiah in Heaven, and my dream came true!

Glasgow, December 2014

The twentieth time I met Lewis was when Prides did a headline gig at The Arches in Glasgow on Saturday December 6th 2014.

I got to the venue in the afternoon to meet up with a couple of friends and we queued for 5 hours! It was nice because we were able to queue inside the venue and we kept seeing members of Prides walk past and we could hear their soundcheck. It was so exciting when I saw Lewis through the glass doors!

Then we saw Ally McCrae and he came to talk to us. He was so friendly and lovely, as always. He introduced us to Prides' other manager Joel Mark. I'd never met Joel before, but he recognised my Lewis Prides t-shirt and knew who I was from twitter. He was so lovely and he asked to have a photo with me, which was a huge honour for me.

It really means a lot to me that both of Prides' managers are so nice to me.

Then the queue started to get very busy, and we were talking to some other Prides fans who were lovely too.

When the doors opened, me and my friends got to the front centre of the barrier and so had the best view of the gig.

Jack Garratt was the support act. I'd seen him before at Leeds festival and really enjoyed him, and he was brilliant again tonight. My favourite song of his is 'Worry' and he did such a lovely performance of it.

Then it was time for Prides and they did the most wonderful show ever. Their lighting was so spectacular, it looked beautiful! It was the best live performance I'd ever seen. They opened with 'I Should Know You Better' and Lewis looked so gorgeous. His drumming was so perfect, and he did his famous 'drumface' and he was so amazing.

After 'Out Of The Blue', Prides went off stage and we were all cheering for them to do an encore and then the whole crowd started singing 'Messiah'. It was such a lovely atmosphere to be there with so many Prides fans.

The final song of the night was Messiah and it was so brilliant! Stewart stage dived into the crowd which was very exciting. At the end Lewis stood up on his drum kit and then he came and stood at the front of the stage. He was right in front of me and it was so wonderful!

Afterwards, my friends and I went to the merchandise stand to meet Prides, and I couldn't believe who I saw! It was Ian of Something Something productions; he is one of the producers of Prides' music videos, and also he starred in 'Messiah' as one of the priests, and 'I Should Know You Better' as the Yeti. I'm a big fan of his work and he's so funny; it was so lovely to get to meet him!

Then I saw Lewis was at the merchandise stand, so I went to meet him and he gave me a hug. He said he saw me at the front during the gig, which made me so happy to think that he'd actually noticed me there! He really is the loveliest person ever and so kind to all us fans. He signed my new t-shirt I'd bought and said I must have a lot of them by now!

Then I met Callum and Stewart who were both really lovely too, as always.

And then I saw Neil from The Wild Curve was there! I was so happy to see him again!

I got another photo with Lewis and I think it's my very favourite photo of me and him.

Then security told everyone to leave the venue, so me and my friends went to say goodbye to Lewis and he gave us each a hug.

We went and stood outside the venue for a bit, and Neil came to talk to us all, which was really nice.

Then I went back to my hotel and I felt like the happiest person alive. It was the best gig I'd ever been to, I'd met so many nice people, and most importantly I got to spend lots of time with my idol Lewis. It had been, I think, the best evening ever of my life!

London, October 2014

The sixteenth time I met Lewis was at the Barfly in Camden, London, on Thursday 23rd October 2014.

This was the fifth night of Prides' headline UK tour.

I got a 'I love (heart) Lewis Prides' t-shirt specially made for this gig, at Camden Market.

The gig was amazing and one of my friends actually went up on stage while Prides were performing 'Messiah'! That was exciting!

When I met Lewis afterwards he gave me a hug. He said he liked my t-shirt and signed it for me. I was so happy!

Another of my friends bought a drink for Lewis and he let me hand it to him because he knew how much I like him. I was shaking though and I spilled some of it.

Ally McCrae was at the gig, and he liked my t-shirt so much he asked to have a photo with me! I felt very honoured!

I had another nice chat with Lewis before I left. I'd bought some more Prides t-shirts and CD's. He knew I'd be at the Bristol gig the next day and said if I brought them with me he'd sign them all then. So that gave me something really nice to look forward to for the final night of the tour.

Twisterella Festival, October 2014

The eleventh time I met Lewis was at Twisterella Festival on Saturday 11th October 2014.

Prides were playing at Westgarth Social Club, which is one of my favourite venues I've ever been to. Everyone there was so friendly, and the room Prides played in had an almost identical carpet to what I have in my living room!

This was definitely one of my favourite times I saw Prides. At the time, it was the longest set I'd seen them play (as this was before their headline tour) and they were the best I'd seen them so far.

Also, it was the first time I met Prides' manager, Ally McCrae, who is so lovely and funny. I went to say hello and he recognised me from twitter, I couldn't believe it! He even said I was Prides' second biggest fan (after him of course)!

Prides spent a lot of time that evening meeting fans at the merchandise stand, and I got to have a lovely long chat with Lewis. It was definitely one of my favourite times of meeting him and one of the best evenings ever of my life!